Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
