we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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