Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
