is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Are we still banned from the library?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
