You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize