WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The power of my boobs compel you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
