So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
