Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
