Barsexuality is the new black.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
