I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
