Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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