Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
barbara walters just said penis...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize