Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
