Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
