To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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