Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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