in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
