discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
