shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize