I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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