I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The adults are the big ones right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
