brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
