you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
