i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
