I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
