I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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