Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
