I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We had sex on a dog bed..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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