cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
