That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i barfeds in our rink
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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