3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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