Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
