i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
