I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
