I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize