i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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