Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
