Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
