he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize