I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
