I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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