i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
