so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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