God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
