My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
