And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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