you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How's work?
Spinning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
