I got chris browned last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
