So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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