and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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