Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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