Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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