theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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