I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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